Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
As I read Lean In, I was intrigued at being able to get inside the head of a dynamic, smart woman who is one generation younger than me, and see the corporate world through her eyes. One of the cultural questions she answered for me was this: why are younger women so averse to the terms "feminist" and "feminism"? Apparently, Sheryl Sandberg and her contemporaries believe(d) the following:
1. Equality having arrived, there's no need for feminism anymore
2. Feminists are man-haters who resist makeup and the shaving of one's legs
Okay, #2 was a bit tongue-in-cheek. However, having observed conditions in the real world for a few years now, Sandberg has come to see that the playing field is not and will not be level until more women occupy positions of power in the corporate hierarchy. She doesn't suggest that this is due to any malicious intent on the part of men, but rather it's simply a matter of ignorance.
To illustrate, she describes having to park far away from her office door when hugely and uncomfortably pregnant. When she designated preferred parking spots to accommodate pregnant workers, no one complained. It was seen as logical. But prior to her taking her place in the C-suite, the issue hadn't been raised.
Sandberg talks about not slowing down out of consideration for what might happen in the nebulous future. The example she gives, now famous, is of a young woman confiding her fears of not wanting to accept a job with a lot of responsibility due to the impact it might have on her family. The woman was planning ahead - she didn't even have a boyfriend yet.
With this example, Sandberg makes the point that women, having been highly trained and educated, are waving off promotional opportunities. The jury is still out as to why, but she suggests, and I agree, that part of the reason is this: in corporate America, a woman's decision to go through pregnancy, childbirth, lactation, and child-rearing is viewed as a private matter that should not impact her ability to work long hours and irregular schedules, including lengthy and frequent travel as needed. Rightly fearing this may drive her insane, a woman who wants a family may leap off the corporate ladder at a very early stage.
Sandberg argues that if a young woman stayed on it long enough to secure a more powerful position, she would be able to exert more control over her work life (a perspective the young woman must trust will happen, since at her current low place on the corporate ladder she can only see her lack of power and control.) After a few promotions, she will be able to delegate some of her work to subordinates, afford more help at home, and influence workplace policies that unfairly impact women and families. Who can find fault with this argument?
Sandberg is honest about her own mistakes, and I found that charming. For example, I was amazed that, for all her intelligence and education, she didn't originally intend to negotiate her starting salary with Facebook. Luckily a nice man (her husband) set her straight, and she made a counter offer to Zuckerberg. Reams of guidance have been written about how this error could have impeded her in later years, both at Facebook and with future employers, yet she didn't know. For other women who have not yet made this horrifying discovery, please read Ask for It by Babcock and Laschever (http://www.amazon.com/Ask-Women-Power...) which in addition to being enlightening and entertaining, offers tons of strategies for preparing yourself to negotiate. And not just for salaries. After reading that book I saved $150 on furniture I was going to buy anyway, by asking one question.
But back to Lean In.
I was also surprised that she wasn't well informed about how women can sabotage other women in the workplace, particularly women in power. This is an unfortunate truth with roots in biology, and is brilliantly explained in the amazing book, In the Company of Women by Heim and Murphy (http://www.amazon.com/Company-Women-I...) which I reviewed here:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/... This also suggests the reasons Sandberg was hit with such a backlash for the well-intentioned Lean In.
There is so much more to say about Lean In, but let me close with this: I enjoyed learning how this stellar corporate executive struggled, made mistakes, and ultimately learned some strategies that will enable her, her family, and the women (and men) in her corporation to thrive. It's not perfect, and sometimes it's not even pretty, but part of the lesson is to let go of the need for perfection.
The other message, younger women, is to get as far and as fast as you can before starting your families. Don't opt out just because it looks too hard from where you're sitting now. The view improves with each rung on the ladder.
View all my reviews
Kathy Shattuck
/ February 8, 2014Lynne, I’m glad you’re finding that precious space to observe the world around you That’s why I’m proud of the people who are activists, who fight to keep our earth from being destroyed by single vision, narcissistic money grabbers who want to destroy this earth for their own profits. I admire people who think beyond themselves, and work for the betterment of the people and the government for equal rights of all.
As I speak, a friend of mine in North Carolina is in Raleigh, marching and fighting for the people of her State. We may look like ants, but we are a community. We never live alone, and the responsibilities are great.
Have a great day, Lynne! Let’s hope for rain!
Lynne Spreen
/ February 8, 2014Good to hear from you, Kathy!
Sandra Nachlinger
/ February 8, 2014Thank you for sharing this amazing video. It definitely evokes a different and thought-provoking perspective.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 8, 2014Doesn’t it, though? Thanks, Sandy.
Let's CUT the Crap!
/ February 8, 2014Wow. I am speechless. This takes my breath away. Thank you for sharing.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 8, 2014Tess, I love that these scientists (the astronauts) were so moved.
Let's CUT the Crap!
/ February 8, 2014As humans, we must realize we are not the centre of the universe, I guess. A little humility is a good thing. 🙂
fifty2ninety
/ February 8, 2014A sensitive and touching post. Thanks.
When I read “We little ant-people, bustling about on our lovely blue planet, rarely stop to realize how small it all is,” I had to think of the shot of earth by the lunar lander that was made public yesterday or the day before.
Instead of the beautiful blue and white sphere that looks so substantial when shot from the closeness of the space station, you see a barely perceptible speck. That, too, gives one a great perspective on how insignificant not only we humans are but our home as well.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 8, 2014Martin, what struck me was that we go about our lives with such unintentional hubris. To think of, for example, the turf battles between “red and blue” politics. We’re so tiny. Our issues are so tiny, except for this one: preserving Spaceship Earth.
fifty2ninety
/ February 8, 2014Yes, Lynne, our hubris is simply — so many negative words to choose from — repulsive is the one that keeps coming to my mind. But I don’t think we’ll ever fully realize how tiny we are until we eventually come in contact with an alien civilization. And then we’d probably immediately try to destroy it.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 8, 2014Or they us.
fifty2ninety
/ February 8, 2014Absolutely, Lynne, no doubt about it, I imagine.
Shelley Charlesworth
/ February 8, 2014Enjoyed the video and your post. The meat & dairy industries are killing us all. The earth is in peril.
The leading cause of cancer, heart disease, global warming and water scarcity is one and the same.
Here is a link to a blog I follow:
mimijk
/ February 9, 2014Ah Lynne, I loved the video and the thoughts that it evoked in you. That feeling of deep awe, inestimable wonder – I don’t think we touch those emotions often enough. And when we do, we are the better for it. Without any hokey intent, I just find that when I am struck by both the magnificence around us and the tiny specks of energy we are within it, I feel humbled and amazed.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 9, 2014You know, Mimi, I didn’t intend to put up two posts one after the other about awe, but I guess I’m in that kind of mood. It’s almost like being in an awake dream. Beautiful and surreal. In my novel, Dakota Blues, I gave my character a scene that actually happened to me on a beach in Hawaii at dawn, the experience of feeling insignificant, and oddly reassured by that feeling. Feeling humbled can be therapeutic to one’s mental health, I found. Have a beautiful Sunday.
Humor_Me_Now
/ February 9, 2014Thanks for sharing the video and your perspective. We live on such a tiny little planet, and it is in so much trouble. Let’s hope that people in the future begin mending personal and national relationships.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 9, 2014Let’s hope so, or else it’ll be like brawling on the decks of the Titanic.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 9, 2014Well said, Humor Me. Well said.
Debbie Haupt
/ February 9, 2014Wow Lynn, call me a speck on the planet 🙂 a very eye opening video and thank you for sharing. It’s amazing when you think of how this planet supports such a diversity of life and how fragile it all is. And what a great look through the eyes of the men and women who experienced this awesomeness up close and personally. Are we ultimately responsible for helping this big blue ball stay on it’s trajectory no matter what? Definitely! Now we just have to convince the rest of the world!!!
Deb
Lynne Spreen
/ February 9, 2014Hey, Deb, thanks for stopping by. Hope you are well and loving life!
Cindy Adkins
/ February 9, 2014Thank you SO much for posting this video, Lynn! I have no words really…amazing…awe…nothing can describe how this film made me feel and see our world. I must share it! Cindy
Lynne Spreen
/ February 9, 2014Great to hear from you, Cindy!
Madeleine Kolb
/ February 12, 2014I was struck once again with the fragility of our planet. It’s sobering to realize how greed and warfare and politics are threatening our planet. My fear is that by the time we stop arguing about global warning, it will be too late to do much about it.
Lynne Spreen
/ February 12, 2014I am worried for my grandbabies.